So, the million dollars question: how does one know if they're intersex?

The biggest misconception I had about intersex stuff was that this was a medical diagnosis. That I would know I'm intersex because the doctors would tell me. And I mean, maybe that's the case now, in some places (americans seem to act like there's a big list of intersex conditions and you can only identify as intersex if you're part of these conditions, so I think it might be the case over there?)

It's not the case in my country though. And frankly, even if it was, I would be extremely dubious of handing over our label to doctors, when in my experience, they've at best been incompetent at treating my intersex condition and at worst actively malicious. "I had a big surgery as an infant that was not written down anywhere in an attempt to hide my intersex condition and now I'm dealing with the health consequences of that" is sadly a story I've heard more than once.

So, if you're not gonna get a big INTERSEX stamp from someone else, how do you know if you're intersex?

Well, in my opinion (as well as that of the leading intersex activist group in my country, so hey, vindication) being intersex is about two things: your body, and your life experience. In short:

• Do you have sexual characteristics that are considered atypical for your sex? (remember this is not just about junk; having gynecomastia is a sexual characteristic considered atypical. Having a lot of facial hair when you're assigned female can is an atypical sexual characteristic. Having undescended testes, or lacking an uterus, or not having your puberty kicks out without external intervention could all be atypical sexual characteristics.)
• Do you relate to intersex life experiences? When you look up intersex people talking about their lives, do you find yourself thinking "whoa, the same thing happens to me! Crazy that!"

If you said yes to both of these (or even just one of those), and you've done your research, and studied the thing, and you think that the intersex label is an accurate way to describe your experience... then yes, you are intersex.

And yes, I know a lot of you will think "but what if I get it wrong? What if I'm not intersex enough? After all, I only have PCOS!" (I don't know why PCOS specifically keeps coming up in intersex discussions, but know that you're far from the first person to ask about it.)

To that, I would like to posit a groundbreaking theory: it's... fine if you get it wrong.

I know it may sound odd coming from me, since I'm complaining about perisex people every two posts or so. Shouldn't I be incensed at the perspective of a perisex person appropriating something that is quite traumatic to me?? Shouldn't I be listing off 735070 tests for you to pass to prove to me you're REALLY intersex??

Well, hear me out: my problem with perisex people is that they keep speaking up over intersex people while doing no effort to educate themselves on our general existence (ie keep saying shit like "intersex is the same as non binary" or "intersex is the same as futanari" when a skim read of the wikipedia page would tell you that's not the case.) When someone does claim the intersex label for the aesthetic, without any regard for its history, its meaning, its weight- then yes, I do think unkindly of them.

If you followed the steps I outlined above though (ie did the bare minimum of research on what intersex actually means) then you ARE aware of our struggles, our culture, our history, and all the other things that are important to understand a community. If you did all that and concluded "yeah, that's me," then you are more than welcome here.