I am non-binary. As such, I often hang out in trans spaces, and the question of "bodies" often comes up in there: what would you do if you were born in the right body? What would your ideal body be like? What procedures and surgery do you want?

I've thought a lot about it. And the thing is... I don't think I want to mod my body at all. Some surgeries sound nice, but more in a "in an ideal world where it wouldn't be a pain to get them then sure" kinda way. I don't think surgery or HRT or the likes would make me significantly happier. I haven't even changed my name; I've toyed with it, experimented around, and my conclusion is that the way I am now is fine.

I do not have any issue with my body, and really, I never had. Every single problem I have ever had with this body comes from other people imposing onto me what THEY think my body should be like.

I am intersex. My condition gives me both tits and a beard. And boy, do people fucking hate that. I did not have a "wrong body" dysphoria in my childhood; what I had was hundreds of people, classmates and family and doctors trying to convince me that my body is wrong and I should hate it and if I don't hate it then that must mean I'm too stupid to realize there's something wrong with me they're gonna fix me whether I want it or not.

When people bring up intersex rights, it's often in the context of "intersex and trans people have many struggles in common, so you should care." Which I understand comes from people who means well. But "as a child I was forced through multiple invasive & painful procedures to make me normal, and I was made to take HRT without my informed consent" is not something I experienced because I was trans. It's something I experienced because I was intersex. It's an experience I believe the vast majority of perisex trans people can't relate to. So you understand that the "we have struggles in common!" argument pisses me the hell off because you should care even if you can't relate to it actually. You should care because even if I had turned out cis that would be a very fucked up thing to do to a child.

Now I'm a legal adult. No one can force me to go through any procedure I don't want anymore. But the policing of my body still hasn't stopped. Oftentime, people ask me how long I've been taking HRT for. When I reply I'm not on HRT, people tend to react with "omg then you need to see a doctor have you seen a doctor you should see another one just to be sure things change so fast go see a doctor." If I were on HRT, I would look the way I do by choice. But I'm not, so people assume that means there's something wrong with my body, that needs to be fixed, and nevermind if I already have a bunch of diagnosis certifying that no my intersex condition has no health impact and it is perfectly safe for me to look the way I do. No one can shut the fuck up about their opinion on my body and what I should do with it. God fucking forbid I like the way I look.